One of the most life changing principles I learned through my Spiritual Psychology program at USM was this:
How you relate to the issue IS the issue.
I initially didn’t come to understand that through hair loss and midlife symptoms. I learned it through relationships.
I often felt like I was attracting the same man in a different body. Different face, same pattern. And for a long time, I thought the problem was “out there.”
Until I realized I was the common denominator.
That realization wasn’t about blaming myself. It was about becoming conscious. It made me start looking inward instead of continuing to ask, Why does this keep happening to me? Yes, I played the victim card.🥴
I began to see this wasn’t only about who I was attracting, but how I was relating to the pattern.
I was relating to it through wounded self worth and through continuing to accept behavior that reflected what I unconsciously believed I deserved.
It was a tough pill to swallow and it was also the beginning of everything changing.
It led me into deeper inner work and into healing the subconscious. When I learned that we operate approximately 90% of the time from our subconscious, I began to recognize how unseen beliefs and old patterns had been shaping my choices without me realizing it.
As those habitual patterns began to shift, my choices shifted too.
What I tolerated changed, and what I was available for changed. I began to live from a different energetic vibe, and the kinds of relationships I was drawn to changed.
And eventually, my relationships changed.
That is how I called in my husband. And let me tell ya, I scored big time. I got a good one. ♥️
That experience taught me something I’ve never forgotten: patterns we don’t make conscious often keep recreating the same outcomes.
That’s one reason I believe subconscious work can be so powerful in healing too.
Because sometimes it isn’t only what we’re doing that needs to shift. Sometimes it’s the pattern underneath how we’re approaching it.
And when that changes, so much can begin to change.
Just like I had patterns I couldn’t see in relationships, I began to realize similar unconscious patterns can show up in how we relate to our bodies too.
I began noticing where I was pushing.
Where I was relating to symptoms through fear.
Where old patterns of over functioning and striving were showing up in how I approached my body.
And that awareness changed how I supported myself.
It helped me approach healing differently.
And that has deeply shaped how I help women now.
Because I’ve seen that many midlife women are carrying patterns underneath the symptoms they’re trying so hard to fix and feeling like nothing is working for them.
Not because those patterns caused the symptoms.
But because bringing awareness to them can become part of healing.
That’s why the work I do isn’t only about supporting hormones, stress, metabolism, or hair from a dna, root cause perspective.
It’s also about helping women gently see and shift the patterns they may be living under.
Because healing isn’t only about changing what’s happening in the body.
Sometimes it’s also about changing the patterns the body has been living under, so the body can feel safe enough to prioritize repair rather than remain in protection.
And this is why that teaching has stayed with me for so many years:
How you relate to the issue IS the issue.
Because sometimes the shift begins not when the circumstance changes first but when our relationship to it does.
And I’ve seen how powerful that can be.
P.S. If this resonated and you’re navigating hair loss or midlife symptoms and are curious what it could look like to work together, I offer a Hair + Wellness Consult where we can connect, talk through what you’ve been experiencing, and explore whether working together feels like a fit.
Book a consult here: Hair + Wellness Consult
There’s such a deep exhale in the way you name that the pattern is not just “out there” in symptoms or relationships, it is living in how we relate to what hurts. The women I sit with are so often doing everything “right” on the surface while their nervous system is still relating to their body through fear, over functioning, and quiet self blame, and your piece feels like an invitation to treat that relational shift as the beginning of real safety and healing, not the afterthought.